


The Hero of Tython meets the Commander of Havoc Squad

by SWTORpadawan



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Comedy, Don't Judge Me, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 11:24:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14715107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SWTORpadawan/pseuds/SWTORpadawan
Summary: The Hero of Tython meets the Commander of Havoc Squad and unexpectedly, hilarity ensues. Strictly a tongue-in-cheek tale.





	The Hero of Tython meets the Commander of Havoc Squad

The Hero of Tython and the Commander of Havoc Squad meet to discuss a joint inter-squad operation against the Sith Empire.

Trooper: You're the Hero of Tython, right? It's an honor to finally meet you.

Jedi Knight: The honor is mine, Major. You and Havoc Squad have accomplished some amazing things.

T: Well, look who's talking? I hear you took out the Emperor. That must have been quite the experience.

JK: Oh, it had it had its ups and downs. Running around the galaxy, saving planets that were about to blow up, taking down a madman who wanted to destroy the whole galaxy. It had its close calls, but I suppose it was personally rewarding as well as a service to the Force.

T: That's …. Impressive. My squad and I took down the Gauntlet. A super-weapon designed to destroy entire fleets.

JK: Very nice. What Sith Lord was in charge of the weapon?

T: No Sith Lord. General Arkos Rakton.

JK: A General? Not even a Moff?

T: (pausing) No.

JK: Oh. Well, I'm sure he was a worthy enemy.

T: …

JK: …

T: You never back down to a challenge, do you?

JK: I guess that is my reputation.

T: That's an odd rep for a Jedi.

JK: As my former Padawan never stops telling me, I'm not like most Jedi.

T: Well, I don't back down to a challenge, either.

JK: Wait. Are we doing this?

T: I think we are, yeah.

JK: Okay. You go first.

T: Have you met M1-4X, our advanced war droid? He's virtually unstoppable. Can take on a Sith Lord by himself. He's powered by some ancient alien power core. I dunno for sure, but my money is on it being a Rakata device.

JK: Very impressive. Have you met my AstroMech droid, T7-01? He helped me kill the Emperor.

T: Wow. Alright, fine. I have a squad medic. Lieutenant Elara Dorne, my executive officer. She's an expert in combat-related injuries.

JK: Our guy calls himself Doc. Top-flight medical specialist. Can handle injuries just fine, even the lightsaber variety. He can even cure Hutt diseases no one has ever heard of.

T: Does curing Hutts count as a good thing?

JK: Eh. Well. I am a Jedi, so I have to assume so.

T: Fine. Fair enough. Sargent Yuun is my Gand technical specialist. He's an expert at bypassing Imperial security. Can handle himself in the field, too.

JK: My former Padawan is an excellent slicer, and can take down most Sith Lords single-handedly.

T: Gah. Really? Fine – Sargent Jorgen is the very model of a Republic soldier.

JK: Sargent Rusk is the same way. And I think is probably less temperamental.

T: Fine, then! I have Tanno Vik! Demolitions expert! Yeah, he's a mercenary, a crook, an untrustworthy, two-bit criminal! But he gives us an edge in ruthlessness you can't match as a Jedi.

JK: Nice. He sounds like quite the rogue. By the way, I have a Sith Lord on my team.

T: Really? A Sith Lord? But you mean, like…. He's a reformed Sith Lord, right? Looking to redeem himself, join your Jedi Order, swear himself to the Light side of the Force, that sort of thing?

JK: Not really, no. He's a Sith Lord. Like an actual, unrepentant Sith Lord. He actually gets annoyed with me every time I save innocent lives. Or when I show compassion. Or sometimes even civility. In some ways, he's basically the definition of evil.

T: But he works for you?

JK: Yes.

T: But …. Doesn't he try to turn you evil? The Dark Side of the Force and all that?

JK: Oh, he tried that for the first few months before giving up in frustration. Now he just wants me to have kids and, if they're force-sensitive, he'll train them to be future Sith Lords.

T: That's… horrifying!

JK: Hey, when you've lived the life that I have, you need to have a sense of humor about these things.

T: Well, fine then, Mr. Hero. Top this: I'm engaged to be married to my team's medic. You know, the hot blonde ex-Imperial? What do you say to that, Mr. Jedi Master? Can't match that, can you?

JK: ….

T: ….

JK: Uhm. Well, you know Jedi aren't supposed to form attachments like that. It's all part of the Jedi Code...

T: Oh, no kriffing way! You're totally doing the redhead, aren't you?!

JK: Hey, could you say that a little louder? I don't think they heard you back on TYTHON!

T: Wow. Okay. You and I need to talk this out over a couple of beers. Let's go find a Cantina.

JK: Well, technically, I'm not supposed to drink…

T: Bit late to start drawing the line, isn't it?

JK: Yes. Alright. Fair enough. Let's stop at Carrick Station on the way to the objective.

T: Hey, did we just become best friends?

JK: I would say 'yes', but only one of us is destined to become the Outlander.

T: Do I even want to know what that is?

JK: No, probably not.

**Author's Note:**

> So before anyone roasts me, I actually really like the classic Trooper storyline. The moral decisions are the most meaningful in the game in my opinion, and most of the characters and companions are interesting to me. I really like the companions. (Okay, maybe not Vik. But i liked the others and i wish Yuun had been more fleshed out.) 
> 
> The problem to me is the end boss. Here is a high-ranking Imperial who was supposedly behind that thing you once took care of. That's not very memorable. Other classes, including the JK, have villains who are built up almost since the start of the campaign. When i started thinking more and more about this, it led me to develop this little piece, which doesn't even belong in my own canon, much less anyone else's. 
> 
> So take it that way. I hope it makes somebody laugh.
> 
> Feedback is always welcome. 
> 
> May the Force be with you.


End file.
